T.V.'s Ally McBeal Suffers
Horrible Tragedy

Calista Flockheart, better known as Ally McBeal, was rushed to the emergency room on Friday, June 25, after suffering severe damage to her stomach.

The trouble began that morning when she went thought would be a short, 10-minute jaunt around the park, but she could not have prepared herself for what came next. While bicycling, Flockheart squeeled with glee as she came flying down a hill. With her mouth open, a mosquito flew in. Not noticing the mosquito, she took a small sip from her water bottle. Since she had not consumed more than 1 gram of food per day in a significant amount of time, her stomach had adapted by shrinking substantially. Flockheart's stomach could not accomadate both the mosquito and the water, and exploded only moments after the mosquito was consumed.

Dr. Timothy Johnson's drawing MADHOUSE consulted physician Dr. Timothy Johnson, and asked him to draw a diagram conveying the injury [left].

After being asked if he really was a physician, Johnson quickly fled the scene.

Even after she arrived at the hospital, the horror did not end. Believing that she was already dead, and in an advanced state of decomposition, hospital workers carted Flockheart to the morgue. Her trip was interrupted when Frank Hussell, an ambulance driver on-scene at the stomach explosion, stated that she was there for extensive stomach reconstruction.

Right now, Flockheart is peacefully resting after extensive surgery was performed on her stomach.

There have been complications, such as Flockheart repeatedly being thrown against the wall by the breeze from an open window.

We wish Flockheart all the best in making a speedy recovery.

ED - All Content 2000.