Criminal Element Delt Blow With Issue of Rocket Boots to Regional Police Force

Criminals all over the world shuddered in unison yesterday when the regional police force revealed its latest weapon in the continuing war against crime: rocket boots.

The announcement was made at a press conference attended by over 5 reporters and 200 criminals. Head of the police force, Constable Gary Dale explained that "…this will be a great aid to every policeman who has ever had to watch a criminal make a perfect escape into the sky, perhaps by using his own pair of rocket boots."

Dale explained that the police forces previous equipment was woefully out of date, and desperately needing replacement. "We needed to have something that could counter the criminal element. Before, all we had were regular pistols and bullet-proof vests. That was all well and good for a while, but once we started seeing criminals armed with rocket skis, sleds, rollerblades, and chairs, we knew we needed something comparable. That's when the Rocket Boot Project was born."

"It will also aid in high-speed chases," he explained, "eliminating the need for a squad car or helicopter. In the near future we look forward to rocket boots replacing the car as the preferred method of transportation."

When asked if there was any downside to the project, Dale explained that "…initially, we had experienced some problems with misfirings, the usual stuff: one boot going off unexpectedly, boots in storage bursting into flames, etc. But I assume all that's been taken care of. I don't really think you'll see any policemen flying around like an unleashed balloon. The probability of one boot going into rocket overload while the other shuts down is only one in ten, I think. Maybe more. But it's small. You have to understand that rocket boots are a new technology, like laser blasters or atomic pants. There's always bound to be some 'wrinkles' to be ironed out. Pun intended."

Dale looked forward to the future of the rocket technology. "Well, were looking at some very exciting prospects. Our ninja division should be pleased with our upcoming rocket knives. Man, those puppies pack a punch. You don't know fear until you've seen a collection of rocket knives burst towards you. Let me just say that criminals better watch out, 'cause we're gonna 'rocket' their world."

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