Homogenization Of American Culture Nearly Complete

All major U.S. corporations made the announcement today that the homogenization of what's left of the American culture is almost complete. Disney Entertainment Group, Coca-Cola Corp., McDonalds Restaurants, and Wal-Mart led the press conference, but were supported by almost every other corporation and media outlet in the entire United States, sources revealed.

"We're pleased with the bold new direction we've chosen for the American culture," the president and C.E.O of Coca-Cola Corp., revealed, "which is one of complete homogenization and uniformity."

When questioned on how the corporations had managed to blend all the unique and diverse cultural gifts of the nation into a bland and inoffensive gray, the president of the Disney Entertainment Group, said that "...we've been promoting and controlling this for the past, oh, 30 years or so. We've pratically squashed all artistic development and ideas, and promoted only what we know is right for the American public."

McDonalds Restaurants agreed, quipping "With the corporations in charge of almost all art, music, and dramatic outputs of the entire nation, we're confident we can choose a culture that everybody can agree with."

"Building on the basic foundation of uniformity and acceptance, we've almost completed blending all diversity into one consumeristic paradise," he added, "where a McDonalds Burger, a can of Coca-Cola, or some quality Wal-Mart merchandise are always within reach and always desirable. And what better place to enjoy that merchandise than in front of a relaxing Disney movie?"

When asked for the complete scope of the operation, McDonald's revealed that "...well, pretty much everybody's on board. We've ensured that any dissenters have been persuaded to the benefits of a uniform culture. Independent artists have been forced to sign up with one of our companies, or face certain starvation. I guess that's one of the benefits of controlling the financial markets, eh?"

The advantages of a homongenous culture are many, according to Disney. "Well, for one, we get everybody thinking the same way, which is great in the event of war. Plus, it keeps dissenting political ideologies to a minimum." "Today, we look forward to a bold new America," Wal-Mart pronounced, "one in which everybody is brought up from birth to buy, eat, feel and live in the exact same way. I can't tell you how excited we are."

RN - All Content 2000.