I'm Into My Frosh, Fuck

By Fred "Eat Shit And Die" Dillan

This whole university frosh thing is fucking amazing.

At first, I was adverse to the casual and even constant swearing, having been raised as a polite and caring young man. But, fuck, is it ever cool. See, you get into groups, right, and then you get to shout swear words at the other groups! It's exactly how I imagined my life would turn out like!

I even saw some of my friends in the other groups, but that didn't stop me from shouting "Hey, hey/It's OK/Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" I don't mind that the combinations of swear words don't make sense. If you ask me, you can shit my fuck up any day.

Some may say that the overuse of swear words (well, "fuck" and "shit" mostly) weakens them and makes them less effective. All I can say to that is, "Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit! Fuck that shit! FUUUUUUCK!" just like I was taught. I had no idea university was so fuckin' shit fuckin' amazing.

And don't get me started about the constant drinking. Man oh man, do we ever drink. We even shout swear words as we drink, so that everybody knows that we don't take guff off anyone.

Plus, we get these nifty-keen nicknames. I wanted to be "Porno Man" but instead I got "Fuckface." Ah, well. At least people will know I'm cool. I wish my parents had named me something cool, like "Fuckface."

I hope the swearing in this article hasn't offended you. Usually I'm very mild mannered, but there's just something about a whole lot of young men and women shouting swear words at one another for three hours straight that gets the blood a-boilin' and the mouth a-cussin'. I can only hope that, when I'm in second year, I too will get the chance to make many young people swear and shout meaningless chants at friends and strangers alike. Fuck!

Talk to you later,

the Fuckface

RN - All Content 2000.