K-tel Announces New 90's Compilation

In a press release earlier this week K-tel records, in association with Quality records, announced that they are releasing a new 6 CD compilation.

According to a K-tel spokesman, the compilation named "Rockin' 90s", is a "nostalgic look back at everyones favorite decade... from the Gulf War to that hamburger you ate last month, Rockin' 90s has it all!".

K-tel's market research indicates that the many will also purchase the compilation as a "humourous look back at the trends popular in the 90s. Trends such as bathing and wearing pants."

But while most companies would be satisfied to simply rerelease old music at a profit, K-tel has also taken the process one step further. "K-tel has employed the worlds most noted futurists in an effort to create the culture of the next decade, and then capture it on a 6 CD compilation: Rockin' 2000s. Our futurists accomplished this task mostly through the use of crude puppets, and the services of our most powerful Amiga computers."

Analysts have been quick to scorn K-tel for brandishing such awesome power without proper consideration of the effects on our future society. K-tel is quick to defend however, citing television personality Deborah Norville, who claims that the future predicted by K-tel is "nearly identical to our current society, except with far more felt, glue guns and googly eyes."

PW - All Content 2000.