Jay Leno Expresses Outrage At Kevin Eubanks

Sources close to Jay Leno recently revealed some shocking information, exclusively to the MADHOUSE. Jay Leno is outraged at the fact that Kevin Eubanks, the guitar-player for his band, refused to laugh at one of his jokes.

"I just sat there looking like a moron," spouted Jay Leno, rage filling his eyes. "Kevin Eubanks is supposed to be there for me, to back me up, when no one in the audience laughs. That happens a lot on the Tonight Show, but usually Kevin cuts in and starts boisterously laughing at my jokes. He'll say something like, 'Good one, Jay!', or, 'That's cold Jay! Cold man!' You know, something to make me feel good. For instance, if I were to say something like, 'I just pooped my pants.', then he would chuckle as my comment were humourous. But that didn't happen last Tuesday night. I looked to Kevin, and shrugged my shoulders. The audience started yelling, 'You suck, Jay!', and, 'I can pull better jokes out of my ass!' Kevin just frowned in disapproval. We lost 3 sponsors that night."

MADHOUSE contacted Kevin to see what happened that night, and Kevin presented a very logical defence for his actions, "The joke just wasn't funny. Not one iota of humour. Usually, I can dig up enough strength to laugh at another one of Jay's repetitive jokes. He'll say something like, 'I heard Clinton just ordered some Viagra. That ought to make Monica happier than a box of cigars!' I'll laugh, but secretly I'm thinking, 'Why do I have to listen to this crap? Clinton, Viagra, Monica, and cigars are not what I think of when I think of comedy. I wonder what would happen if I broke my guitar off on Jay's chin.' I couldn't even force myself to laugh last Tuesday. It was just horrible. Jay was doing Headlines and he announced that he was the only one that found the next joke funny. I knew the next joke was going to be a stinker, but I wasn't prepared for what was to come. Jay said, 'Look at these instructions for nail polish. They say, "Wait 3 to 5 minutes, and then Poof!, your nails are done.' 3 to 5 minutes isn't Poof! to me. Alright, it isn't Poof! Poof is poof!' He wouldn't let it go. He just kept going on and on about how Poof! wasn't 3 to 5 minutes. He flailed his arms, like a maniac, but it didn't make a difference. Jay just kept beating the joke to death. He wouldn't let it die!! I couldn't bear to laugh."

We wish Jay and Kevin the best in luck in reconciling their differences.

ED - All Content 2000.