Female Residents of Lesbos Rally Against "Lesbian" Moniker

The majority of the female residents of the Isle of Lesbos came together at a press conference yesterday, announcing that they are "...not lesbians."

"Well, we're not." stated Chris Forbian, who came dressed in very butch pants and a pink tank top. "People think just because we're from Lesbos, that we're lesbians. But I, for one, am very heterosexual."

"Me too!" cheered Gari Boler. "I'm so straight that I'm comfortable taking a relaxing bath with another women," she announced, adding "even on a nightly basis."

"It's not like, just because we're from this island we're automatically lesbians," another women sporting a crew-cut explained. "There's plenty of straight people on Lesbos. I, for one, enjoy regular and, um, passionate sex with many men."

"That's right!" added Pat Vernier, another Lesbian. "I really really like," she said, shuddering, "...men."

"There's actually only a small percentage of lesbians on Lesbos." volunteered one angry young woman. "It's not like San Francisco or anything. You'd be hard-pressed to find a lesbian bar on Lesbos. Believe me."

Helen Londstaff proclaimed that "...We're not all gay. We're not. I know of at least three women who are assuredly not interested in a female/female relationship, even when drunk. Well, two." she said, winking at a nearby blushing woman.

"It's the media's portrayal of Sappho that's given all us Lesbians a homosexual name. Her beautiful and poignant poetry certainly doesn't represent all of us." explained Gene Lowdry. "I find that, on a daily basis, men arouse me..." she said, adding a muttered "to new heights of lesbianism!"

RN - All Content 2000.