The New Mac

At E3, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, in Los Angeles, CA, Apple made a shocking announcement. Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers, revealed the specs for the new Macintosh.

The new Macintosh will be available in 450 styles of plaid. Following the trend of the iMac, which omitted a removable storage medium, the new Mac will omit what Apple has deemed "unnecessary components". These components include a keyboard, hard drive, and a cooling fan.

Jobs explained why Apple is releasing a new Mac only a short time after releasing the iMac, "It's actually quite obvious really. There's been a tremendous consumer response to the iMac, with its low cost and fashionable casing. This new Mac is going to be even greater. It will improve on everything about its predecessor, and I anticipate even further prosperity for Apple in the future. We're appealing to the consumer through a number of changes. For instance, the new Mac will be available in 450 styles of plaid. Plaid is the pattern of 'Generation Xers', of cool people. That's how I look at Apple. We're cool and alternative, homie! The new mouse will be even smaller than the iMac's mouse. It measures 5 cm across, and its 2 mm thick. Another drastic change is in our serious price-cutting. To facilitate these price changes a number of changes were implemented. The new Mac will not include a keyboard, and this encourages people to use their mouse, which is more efficient with our GUI. There's no hard drive, either. All the information streams off the CD-ROM drive. The cooling fan will be removed, and that means that the components should be blown on to prevent overheating, which is a more efficient cooling method than standard cooling fans."

MADHOUSE asked Jobs what marketing strategies would be employed, and what names are being discussed, for the new Mac. Jobs replied by saying, "There's no name set in stone at this point in time, but you brought up something that is really exciting. Apple is working with many popular musicians to come up with songs to celebrate the new Mac. We're working with Will Smith who's remixing Men In Black to Brand New Mac. Imagine, if you will, 'Here comes the brand new Mac, the one that you'll remember!'"

ED - All Content 2000.