Area Man Claims That He'll Definitely Win Big

Recently we spoke to Parry Walker, of Kanata, Ontario, who claimed that he had some fantastic news to share with us. Walker claims that it's just a matter of time before he wins, "...really, really big!!"

Walker discussed his plans on just how he's going to win really big, "Well, I just ordered this tape that I saw on the Comedy Network. It's called Secrets of Slot Machines, and it looks really cool! I mean, James Coburn recommended it, and it's going to be awesome!

"It tells me completely legal slot-machine beating methods, and which machines to play. It's a good thing I'm getting this tape, because I used to just think that there was no actual strategy to slot-machines. I thought that they were computerized, and completely random, and just set up to make the casino money. But according to James Coburn, there's ways to beat the slot-machines. I can't believe the moronic casino owners just leave these things lying around. I'm going to take them for everything they have when I go to the casino. I'm going to be rich!!"

MADHOUSE asked Mr. Walker what he thinks the video will teach him about techniques for beating slot-machines. Walker responded by saying, "I can't really say right now, because I haven't actually received the tape yet. But I'm sure it will work well. I'm sure Coburn would never lie to me."

ED - All Content 2000.