Middle-Aged Man Disappointed By Britney Spears Concert

John Patterson, of Boston, Massachusetts, was extremely disappointed by Britney Spears concert at the Bank Boston Pavilion. Patterson cites the reason for his anger as being the total lack of nudity during the show.

John first became interested in Britney after her showing on the cover of Rolling Stone. "I picked up the magazine while I was sitting around at Chapter's, and I was very impressed. I flipped through the pages furiously, anxious to see the photo spread. And I was not disappointed. I definitely wanted to hit her one more time, if you know what I'm saying, and I ain't talking the way Ike smacked around Tina Turner. Okay, well, maybe a little, but just for foreplay," said John. "I started masturbating furiously, which seemed to bother the other shoppers. That's basically how I got hooked on Britney."

"I became fascinated with Britney Spears, and I wanted to know everything about her. I even made t-shirts that say, 'Britney's Da Bomb!' The shirts got that kind of hip-hop flava, straight from the west side. So when I was looking up information about Britney, I heard her ta-tas were fake. I was like, 'Damn! If she's got implants, there must be some strippin' in her show.' The news was even better because I heard she was coming stopping by Boston. Soon I was going to see Britney showing off some Titney. Ow!!"

When John went to the concert, he was sorely disappointed at the lack of nudity in the show. "At first, I thought she was definitely going to take it all off. She came out in this white jacket, but she immediately ripped it off. I thought that was going to lead to her removing the rest of her clothing, but noooo! Then, as the night went on, I was feeling less and less confident in her gettin' buck nekkid. What does Britney think people go to her concerts for? To hear her sing?!? Don't make me laugh!" said John of his concert experience.

Other concert goers report that John was extremely disruptive during the entire show. "There was this crazy old guy who really stuck out," says Tiffany Jenkins, one of the many teenage girls attending the concert. "He kept yelling at Britney to, 'Take off her top!' I even saw him try to slip a dollar bill in Britney's pants! What a jerk!! Then he even got on stage and pretended to have sex with her. He disrupted the whole concert. Britney had to stop the music, and ask him politely to leave. The man responded that she just wanted him to leave because his, '...overwhelming sexual presence was getting to her.' Britney then had security escort him off stage."

John claims the Britney Spears concert has spoiled the whole concert experience for him. "I may never go to another teenage girl pop star's concert after this one. This concert just ruined the whole thing for me," said John. "Well, except maybe for Christina Aguilera. She's hot!"

ED - All Content 2000.