Disney Reveals Controversial Choices For New Tarzan Action-Figures

Disney has been under scrutiny recently for releasing a Tarzan action-figure that appears as if he's engaging in self-pleasuring. After releasing "masturbatory" Tarzan, Disney is expected to take significant flack for its choices for new Tarzan action-figures. These choices include "S&M" Tarzan, "Nipple-Twister" Tarzan, and "Ass Rubbing" Tarzan, which are all expected to be released within the next three weeks.

"S&M" Tarzan comes complete with a dungeon playset, and with a "Mistress" Jane action-figure. "S&M" Tarzan comes with a dog-collar, leather vest and tight, constricting, leather pants. Consumers who purchase the figure through the internet will receive a whip accessory. Pressing a switch on "S&M" Tarzan's back will make him bark in submission to his "Mistress" Jane.

"Nipple-Twister" Tarzan has rapid purple-nurple action. He is capable of distributing painful nipple twists to unsuspecting action-figures.

Finally, "Ass Rubbing" Tarzan pats his posterior whenever someone claps. Disney assures us that it will be, "...clapping fun for the whole family."

"We feel that we are addressing the need," replied a representative from Disney, "for wanton sexuality in action-figures. Although it may seem that the negative media attention from our last Tarzan action figure should have decreased sales, they actually increased three-fold. We feel that the new-action figures will bring even further revenue to Disney."

While Disney should be applauded for trying something different, these recent actions are somewhat disturbing. It remains to be seen whether the public will embrace these new action figures.

ED - All Content 2000.