Authorities Agree: The Entire Nation Deserves a Thumbs Up!

"We've had some tough times in the past, but it looks like we can put all of that behind us. Great job folks, you all deserve a big pat on the back!" said the nation's experts, in unison.

"You can see by this large chart behind me that levels of W-compounds are way up, indicating a nationwide rise in swellness." said another scientist. "Thumbs up, nation!" he added, with enthusiasm.

In fact, the marked increase in swellness has had several positive side effects. Thumbs up are at an all time high. Citizens from all walks of life are finding reasons to give thumbs up. But don't take our experts words for it! Let's talk to some ordinary folks.

"I've lost 200 pounds, and now look at me. I'm doing better than ever! I'm glad to be living in such a wondrous age! I can eat whatever I want, and I wont gain an ounce... Thumbs up, Jenny Craig!" exclaimed one area resident.

But the overweight are not the only ones to be feeling enthusiastic.

"I had lasagna for lunch, and I didn't spill any. Thumbs up, utensils!" said a once clumsy nerd, who was recently drafted by the NFL.

It seems the whole nation has come together in giving each other a "thumbs up"!

"I used to be a buttoned down accountant, but now I'm a pro wrestler, and I'm married to a supermodel. This sure is a keen nation we all have. I think you all know what I'm going to suggest now... let's all give ourselves a big thumbs up. Here's one thumb up for me, and one for my homies!" said new WWF champion, "Iron" Roger Shemler.

But it's the children who really gain the most from these super-trends.

"I used to be a stupid kid, but since the whole country got so nifty, it doesn't even matter any more... thumbs up, nation!!!" said one youngster.

"I like to swim." he added dimly.




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