The Top 10 Things To Do In A Long
And Boring Lecture When There's
No Way The Teacher Will Recognize You

10. Poke the person beside you. Poke him good.

9. Cough. Get a friend to cough at the same time you do. Then, just when you've got a pattern going, get him to maddeningly start coughing at just the wrong time.

8. Wink at the professor. This is amoung the easiest, and most disconcerting things you can do.

7. Whenever the professor pauses to collect his thoughts, whistle a bomb dropping sound. Don't forget the "phooogh" explosion at the end.

6. Laugh at every one of your teachers little jokes. Laugh louder with each subsequent joke. Announce that "I can't take any more! He's killing me!" and leave chortling. If he's not telling jokes, it will make your final announcement all the more puzzling.

5. Put you hand up as if you're asking a question. When your professor looks at you and says "Yes?" look around yourself, puzzled, and slowly lower your hand. Repeat as desired.

4. Convince yourself that you're a Irishman. Now, try to convince those around you.

3. Annouce loudly that "I'm leaving this lesson RIGHT NOW" and get up to leave. Return for your pencil. Repeat this process, always annoucing that you're going to remember that damned pencil this time.

2. Hold up a large paper sign with your professors name on it. Pretend you're cheering on a sports team.

1. Whisper to the person beside you, "I really really have to go to the bathroom", but do not make any motions to leave your chair. Repeat occasionally with with increasing intensity and desperation in your voice.

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